Missnorman

Today Is one of those days when I cringe at every emotion in my body. My head has a thousand thoughts, my heart Is twisted and confused and me? I'm completely wornout.

Yes. Yesterday was one of the greatest days I've had in a long time. It was a nice, family dinner, with no stress or planning, with wonderful food at our favourite restaurant and great company.. but when time passed my family started to prepare to go home, while I started to notice that friends started to come along from all sorts of ways.. Eventually we we're a gang of 20 people at one table, and even though I had no money - I got a perfect evening, with drinks all around and shots thrown over my head. As a perfect party-night, It also ended with an insignificant kiss.

 

 

And today has been a good day, again - with no plans, with no hopes and just plain simple - my family has been by my side and we have been laughing and joking, eaten a wonderful dinner and enjoyed a wonderful night..

 

But now.. I'm home, my body Is panicking.. and every inch of my body Is scream "Be here. Please, I just want you to be here." But without a sign, I'm wondering.. Where are they? The true friends I used to have. The one person I was able to call, who'd come down here at an instant. The best friend who'll sleep beside me for days and the friend that would make my day better, by being a part of it.

I miss my truly, insainly wonderful best friend Josefin, who has seen every side of me - gotten a punch now and then, cried with me, laughed with me and feel asleep completely exhausted with me. This wonderful girlfriend who made me feel like I actually belong - like I was important. This wonderful, amazing girl who could look at me and see exactly what I'm feeling.. and this amazing girl who laugh at things in the same way I would.

You know, I miss It. I just really, really miss her. I miss who we used to be.

I miss.. writing in our book. Feeling so secure and so safe and so loved and just.. so understood. I just miss, really having my best friend beside me.

And yet, I am not able to tell her. For some reason, I just can't tell her the real truth of how I miss her. Of how I miss my best friend.

Isn't that wierd? .. Or Is the truth so hard, that we actually have drifted apart?

Or Is It just me, leting my insecurties get the best of me?

 

If It Is so.. I definetly have a lot to work on.