Somewhere along, your conscience catches up with you
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So this day I had yesterday.. was easy and fractional. My conscience was far away and I sort of wanted it to be. I wanted to feel good and stop thinking. I wanted to feel that I deserved to have someone who caared. I wanted to feel like I was someone for someone. It doesn't matter if you are re-bound girl, because being a re-bound girl means that you get each and every emotion left from another guys body - even If It's emotions he keeps inside for another woman. And even though.. knowing.. that the guy you are constantly thinking about, kissing and missing.. is loving someone else.. you sort of convince yourself It's worth it.
When you feel how this guy kisses you with so much emotions that nothing but the two of you exists.. You know he is closing his eyes, imagining the girl that he really loves.. but for you.. or me.. It Is a feeling that reminds us that It's possible to feel.. infatuation. To us.. It Is worth it.. cause it makes us feel so considerable.
But in the other hand.. Is this behaviour.. destructive? Yes. Cause taking the love of another woman, also reminds you - that you are the one they don't love. You are the one he will never love. And that.. Is when you really feel your heart ache.
So what do you do.. When your heart screams "I want to be with him.." and your head says.."But he wants to be with someone else.."
Is It worth it? Putting yourself out there, knowing you are making yourself utilized for someone who wont look at you the way you want to?
No matter how the situation ends up, you are the one to blame yourself.. for not being good enough. For not being the one.
And yes.. People can tell me that I need to stop looking, stop hoping.. That he'll come one day.. But it doesn't make it easier. It doesn't make this bearable. It doesn't make this less painfull.
It's either - getting hurt or ending up hurt. Both ways.. suck..
When you feel how this guy kisses you with so much emotions that nothing but the two of you exists.. You know he is closing his eyes, imagining the girl that he really loves.. but for you.. or me.. It Is a feeling that reminds us that It's possible to feel.. infatuation. To us.. It Is worth it.. cause it makes us feel so considerable.
But in the other hand.. Is this behaviour.. destructive? Yes. Cause taking the love of another woman, also reminds you - that you are the one they don't love. You are the one he will never love. And that.. Is when you really feel your heart ache.
So what do you do.. When your heart screams "I want to be with him.." and your head says.."But he wants to be with someone else.."
Is It worth it? Putting yourself out there, knowing you are making yourself utilized for someone who wont look at you the way you want to?
No matter how the situation ends up, you are the one to blame yourself.. for not being good enough. For not being the one.
And yes.. People can tell me that I need to stop looking, stop hoping.. That he'll come one day.. But it doesn't make it easier. It doesn't make this bearable. It doesn't make this less painfull.
It's either - getting hurt or ending up hurt. Both ways.. suck..
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