Confused, scared and alone?
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Life is a complication. And I don't know why I run into new situations where I feel the emptieness.. I don't know why things always has to go wrong for me even when I try to do everything right.. I never mean to do anything bad, I don't want to hurt anyone.. so when things go wrong I don't understand how and why, and that's where the confussion comes in.. And when I don't understand how everything can wrong - especially all ot once, I get scared. The confusion is not understandable and when I try to fix it.. It gets worse and that's when I'm scared. Cause what do you do to make everything go wrong and what can you do to make it better? How can you be blinded when you have open eyes? How could everything I did in one day make everything go wrong for everyone? Some things I understands, some mistakes you do.. but some things you don't even mean to do and thats when the confussion and scariness go together.. and makes you feel cold, freesing actually.. and alone. Cause you do know that all problems you do - you have to fix yourself. You know that when your body starts to feel empty, cold, sick and tierd.. something is taking a lot of strenght from you.. When you feel that your legs wants to fold you start to realise how much energi each problem takes on you daily .. and eventually you might fall and If you are to tierd.. you might choose not to get up. And I feel that I am on that road right now.. I am starting to feel tierd, I'm all ready confused and I'm starting to feel scared.. and bit by bit.. I start to realize that I am alone. And what I want the most Is for everything to be all right again, I want to learn to never do the same mistakes twice..I want to be forgiven.. I want to wake up from this night mare. Everything.. and everything .. have gone wrong. . and I don't know how.. and even though it's wrong to run away from your problems .. I wish I could get on a plane, disappear for a fue years and then go back.. Maybe it's wrong, but If I don't get away from these problems.. If something wont go right soon.. These problems are going to distroy me... and that.. I am afraid of. 
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